Lost in translation !! 

Believe it or not these instructions were actually printed on the label of an Italian barbeque. They have been copied exactly as they appeared!! 

DIRECTION FOR USE: 

The first time, you must greased the superior plate of barbeque with a few of butter. Use always at moderate hot with a low flame. Please, avoid to use various metallic cutleries or kitchen knives which can scratch or damage the nostick coating. A simple form is the ideal to turn foods on the plate. Following these instructions you will extend the life of this original article. Item are in aluminium 99.5% totally coated of PTFE which takes care of hygiene and it is easy to wash with a simple sponge and a common detersive. Please do not use abrasive products. 

FOR LIGHT ROAST: Put the barbeque on the gas ring, with a moderate flame at the centre of the hole; take attention to make hot the plate, whom form has been studied to make fall some greases in the under pan where you will have put a few of water before beginning the cooking, water is put in order to avoid smoke or to do not dry foods a lot. If you use an electrical ring, it is important its diameter will be lighly inferior in comparaison of the central hole of our barbeque. At this point, all is ready to grill … light. Meat steacks (lamb, beef, porc, chicken, hamburger, wurstel), fishes (including crayfishes or octopuses), vegetables (peppers, aubergines and so on) are some foods you could cook with success. At the end also the old bread, families often waste, with our barbeque will be roasted and becoming very fasted and ideal for bruschette or other. For flavourings aromatic spices, it will be your fantasy to suggest you the choose. Enjoy your meal.